Sorry, readers, I just have to indulge this once, and then I will stop my whining. I'm positive that I will eventually find true love in my life, but it's just so hard to be in the midst of the un-true-love part of life. So I've been doing some research online, and this is what WikiHow says:
How to Fall Out of Love
1. Realize you are worth someone who loves you. You are worth someone who thinks you are beautiful and awesome. It's always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody's ego boost.
2. See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it'll be to get on with your life. It's completely possible that you're idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you -- because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.
3. Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don't call them, don't go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself. [Actually, he didn't even try to convince me otherwise and that is even worse!!!]
4. Date. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet people that you like. Don't settle for whomever asks you out, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don't love back! Approach people, try new things. You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there. Go find him! [Where? Where do I look???]
5. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn't see you for the great person you are! There are those out there who will. [Actually, some sort of crazy ex-girlfriend-style revenge would make me feel A LOT better, but I'm trying really really hard not to do anything.]
6. Try cognitive conditioning similar to a Pavlov's dog's response. Every time you obsess over this person try thinking about something repulsive. Pretty soon, you will start associating this person with repulsion, so that eventually the person's name will invoke disgust.
That last one is my favorite. Unfortunately, he made me really like the smell of beer mixed with cigarettes, so I can't use that. What is WRONG with me?
2 comments:
Nothing is WRONG with you!
But now I'm annoyed that something with "wiki" in the name had a better response to the question than I did. That's right, I'm not much of a public wiki fan. Although the response is really just a more in depth version of the last sentence of my last comment, I guess. Oh, with the addition of that Pavlov thing, which I don't see working real well even if it is your favorite. So the wiki loses points on that one.
How can you miss by trying the whole "go out and have fun" thing? I think the "replacement" is the concept that works the absolute best, but is obviously the hardest to come by. But fear not! It will happen. I know it will. You've just got too much going for you for it NOT to happen. You do need to be looking for it, though...
Thanks, Donnie. I actually really liked your comment from before, and appreciated you sharing your personal experience. It's probably a good thing that I don't drink or else I'd be in serious trouble right now! Anyway, (sigh) I am going to try my hardest to "go out and have fun" and find a replacement. Do you know any single guys in New York?
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