Monday, March 31, 2008

O World, I Cannot Hold Thee Close Enough

A silver 2004 Toyota Corolla, an electric blue 1981 Nissan 280ZX, an old Jeep Wrangler with a rusted out floor, an orange 2004 Scion, a rebuilt schoolbus-yellow 1989 Chevrolet stepside pickup truck, a silver 2002 Camaro, a red 1995 Z28 Camaro, a little white 1997 Corvette, a big huge red 1994 Suburban, a 1992 Ford Probe, a 1992 Mercedes ML320, and a 1995 Windstar van with four flat tires. What do all these cars have in common? They are all parked in my parents' driveway!

Being at home this week, I realized that the longer my family lives in North Carolina, the more "redneck" they are becoming. Now their house is becoming one of those places you see in the middle of the country with a front yard full of cars that don't run, and chickens everywhere. My brother is supposedly fixing up several of those cars, but he seems to have a problem buying more cars before fixing up and selling the initial ones.

It was fun to drive my dad's silver Camaro around all week though. It has a sun-roof and a really loud and powerful engine. However, it was a sad day at the gas-pump when I realized I had to fill the thing up with premium gasoline, thus spending a small fortune. Living in NYC without any car at all for the past 6 months, I've lost touch with the skyrocketing gas prices. Why aren't people all buying hybrids and riding bicycles around?

My spring break was a roller-coaster ride, and not just because I was racing around in a sporty car all week. It was a time for serious personal reflection. A time to come to terms with personal failure, as well as the peace that comes with the knowledge that ultimately I'm making good choices in my life and because of that I am sure that only good things can come of it all. I feel as if I'm living my life as fully as I possibly can, and as a result there is naturally pain, which is often a necessary part of growth. And ultimately there is the possibility of so much joy and gladness. The world is too amazing and wondrous for any sort of regrets. I love my life!

Now I am back in New York, where it's peaceful and quiet (no little dogs barking me awake in the morning, no brothers talking loudly in the other room while I'm trying to sleep!) and the air is clean and fresh (it just rained, and the incense-man in out on the sidewalk selling his wares). It's nice to feel at home here. At home in my own life.

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