R.I.P.

Rest in peace, green fuzzy shoes with high heels, T-straps, retro toe-vents, and a most unusual floral pattern. You were much loved and adored by all who saw you, even if you weren't always comfortable to wear during an 8-hour workday. Faithfully you served, protected, and glamorized my feet until the end, when you died in the service of helping me walk to church. The mean streets of Harlem were no match for your delicate seams and aging glue, and when I arrived at my destination, your sides were split beyond repair but heroically doing their best to retain their shape. Even the bus-ride home was not gentle enough to prevent you from completely falling apart. If it were possible, I would bury you in your cute little Kenny Hearts Penny shoebox and plant roses above your grave, but instead your fate is the rubbish bin, which is a sore injustice. However, you may rest in peace knowing that you will join the pantheon of great shoes who have gone before you to that great closet in the sky, where shoes float on clouds and are worn by angels. You will be reunited with the legendary Santana black high-heeled sandals with ankle straps, retro wooden platforms, and chunky heels that saw my feet through six years of art-gallery openings with style and grace. There you will also meet the sassy bright secret-weapon orange low-heeled patent leather sandals that were all it took to turn an everyday outfit into something to write home about. While many shoes have gone before, have been worn a little bit, donated to Goodwill, or lie unworn in the closet, shoes like you will always be remembered, longed for, and wished immortal.