Friday, April 1, 2011

The Musings of a Sick Mind

I've been bedridden for days, in the grips of delirium, wondering if I will survive the long ordeal or succumb to the dreaded cold. Actually, I've only had a cold for a few days, but when I get sick I just sleep and sleep and sleep. I slept on Wednesday, then I went to work on Thursday because I felt like nobody was getting anything done without me. Then I came home and slept, and today I have barely left my bed. It's so warm in here and so cold and gray outside and I have everything I need all around me: tissues, books, i-pod, salt and vinegar potato chips, chocolate chip cookies... why should I get up? Unless there is a bright warm sunbeam somewhere to lay in, I am not getting up!

My husband, who would like for me to refer to him as "Biff" on my blog from now on, in order to further protect his identity (but I have not decided if I will or not. I'll probably forget) has been taking good care of me, bringing me food and telling me stories, and actually I thought I was delirious and hallucinating because when I came home from work the other day, he was cleaning! I mean, he was organizing! We have more floorspace in our bedroom now, and the bathroom closet is completely reorganized. He was actually throwing things away! Like old medicines and stuff. It was fantastic!

While I've been laying here in bed, I read a book about this Spanish conquistador named Orellana, who was the first Westerner to traverse the Amazon River. It is an amazing book, and I recommend it to anyone who loves adventure stories. It's nice to read stories like that when you are sick because it makes your own troubles seem not as bad. When I read about starving men devouring raw manioc and then dying of the poison while being attacked by cannibals, it puts things in perspective. And it makes me realize that humans are strong enough to endure so much more than what I complain about from day to day.

I've also been listening to radio podcasts of my favorite programs, including Bob & Sheri, a duo based in Charlotte NC, who I've listened to for years and years. They make me laugh out loud most days, and recently they had people calling in to tell true stories of weddings that turned wild. Some lady called in and said that when police came to arrest a drunk-driving guest and tow his car from the wedding she was attending, the other guests tried to tip over the tow-truck, and laid down in front of the police car wheels to prevent the guy from being taken away! Then some other guy called and talked about his own crazy wedding and how his wife is a taxidermist and is planning to stuff him when he dies and prop him up in the corner. If I don't die of this cold, I will probably die laughing because of these people. But if laughter really is the best medicine, maybe I'll get well soon?

I'm just delirious and making no sense. Maybe I will do my taxes now. I figure I might as well do tedious stuff now, while I'm sick, so as to better enjoy my time when I am well.

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