Monday, February 9, 2009

Lessons the Hard Way

It was a good weekend for me, but my sister had a hard time. I was going to rant on my blog about stuff that happened to her, but instead of rehashing it all, I'll just tell you what we should all try to learn:

1. Don't be afraid to say no sometimes, like when you feel like you are being asked to do too much.
2. Ask for help when you need it.
3. Don't dwell on what you imagine other people are thinking about you. Chances are, they aren't even thinking it.
4. Don't worry about things before they even happen, because chances are they won't even happen.
5. Everyone's burden will be lighter and easier when we all work together, so look around and try to identify others' needs and see if you can help.
6. To all the Mormons out there--remember that we are given callings so that we may serve one another, not order them to serve us. Be kind, gentle, and sensitive to the people you work with in the church. We are imperfect, struggling, fragile humans, all of us.
7. Remember the common courtesies: Please, thank you, how are you? Especially thank you.

Well, there are probably a few more things to learn, but these are the ones that have been roiling within me, needing to find expression.

I felt like a bad sister, because I wasn't there to help E out when she needed me, but there are some lessons we end up learning the hard way. Hopefully she's not holding it against me, and hopefully she is learning how to be a little braver and bolder, knowing her own limits and setting boundaries. Sometimes as LDS women we feel like we must say yes to everything, help everyone, do everything we are asked to do because that means we are sweet and good. But there is a fine line between going the extra mile to help out and becoming someone's doormat. When you let other people take advantage of you, it benefits no one.

Anyway, sorry to be cryptic, but I don't want to embarrass E any more. She's been through enough!

Let me just end by saying a farewell thank-you to the rolling cart that sustained my sister and I through countless trips to the grocery store and laundromat, a traumatic move, and many odd trips to Target. May you rest in peace in the alleyway behind our apartment where Trini no doubt has thrown you. And Trini, if by some chance you are reading this instead of standing out front talking philosophy and religion with some random ruffian, E promises to return your cart next time she sees you. Thank you for being there to loan it to her at the moment she needed it most.

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